Speluska's Blog

Read my mind

Destructive love


I know that it’s time to say goodbye,

oh lord how I try.

But when I see you I could cry,

I want you so bad that I could die.

I need you to be strong for me,

please walk away from me.

Stop giving me false hope,

making me feel like that you care,

oh how do you even dare.

You say that you don’t know what you want,

well that obviously ain’t me – can’t you see.

You are killing me,

I’m burning inside,

it’s something that I can’t even hide.

You are like a drug for me,

I need a rehab,

please help me.

May 16, 2012 Posted by | Poetry | , | Leave a comment

Broken wings


I end up crying,

it feels like dying.

My wings won’t fly no more,

I feel like a fucking whore.

I don’t won’t to love ever again,

it seems like there is no decent man.

October 25, 2011 Posted by | Poetry | , , | Leave a comment


Your eyes.

Your smile.

I could die.

September 26, 2011 Posted by | Poetry | , | 6 Comments

Words don’t have to be said to be understood


Those people who  repeatedly say »I love you«,

are good candidates for not telling the truth.

Words don’t have to be said to be understood,

and you  don’t have to act like Robin Hood.

All he did was look deeply into my eyes,

he was shaking and so we hugged,

we felt like being drugged.

I couldn’t eat when he was about to came and not even when he was leaving,

but yet I needed to continue with my living.

I don’t have to be with him or talk to him but he still knows how I feel,

this is true love, not an insane deal.

October 25, 2010 Posted by | Poetry | | 3 Comments

I’m on my way to disappear

There is something I want you to know,

you can call it a stupid show.

All I have seen so far are affairs,

it seems like the only thing about what he cares.

Why can’t it be easy,

you always make me dizzy.

You make me want to run away,

so please stop asking me to stay.

When you are talking like a broken machine,

I feel like after eating in an awful school canteen.

From now on I just don’t care,

a happy face is all I’m gonna wear.

You can watch me disappearing in the night,

our love is not something for what I want to fight.

My heart is still,

my mind is clear,

I’m on my way to disappear.

October 3, 2010 Posted by | Poetry | , | 13 Comments

Not someone but The one

Feeling romantic? Well why not. It’s nice to listen to a romantic song and think of our beloved. Backstreet boys are making music like that. First let me tell you one funny thing since I mentioned that group. When I was in primary school, in third grade or so, one of my “cool” schoolmades told me that if I want to be cool I have to have a favourite group among Kelly family, Backstreet Boys and similar. I have choosen Backstreet Boys. I don’t know if it made me cool. But now I’m not 13 anymore and things like that don’t matter to me anymore. I’m unique. That’s better. Anyway, they have a song called As long as you love me. Listen to it.

Now when you have heard it I want you to think about the text of the song: “I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, as long as love me…” Hmm, so they are so desperate that they don’t won’t a person that they love to love them but just someone, no matter who. That’s so stupid. The main thing when loving someone should be that you love him/her for who they are! So the text of that song is like you would hear someone desperate searching for love. But love can’t find you, it just comes when you meet the right person. And you feel in love because you like them as a person, for who they are. So this song for me it ain’t a love song at all. So think carefully before starting thinking about the one you love while listening to that song.

June 16, 2010 Posted by | Reviews, Thoughts about life | , | Leave a comment

Can we fall in love with the same person more times?

When you are with someone for a long period there are good and bad times. Sometimes you are so annoyed by each other that you might start thinking that you’d be better off single. Some people say being single is good. Is it? I haven’t been single for more than five years straight and I can’t say. The thing is that I started dating when I was 18 and now when I’m older I see things from different perspective, not just because being in relationship. I became more mature so to say. There are many things that form your personality, so it’s difficult to say what caused that. Anyway – from my perspective  its better to be in a relationship than being single. I’m still living with my parents, but I’d love to try to live with my boyfriend. It must be totally different being together nignt and day, than see each other a couple of times per week and once a while sleep over. But this is quite common in Slovenia. While being in Portugal and having a discussion according to that topic I found out that we are very different. In Slovenia we live at our parent’s place for long time and even later, when we get married, we usually stay in the same house, just in another floor than our parents do. If a couple has more children, one of them stays home with his new family and the other one goes to live in a house of his/her partner’s parents. In some years maybe they go on their own, but mostly they rather buy expensive cars and weekends for the money they save. When I told that to people in Portuguese course where we held this discussion they were shocked. They said this is neither healthy neither normal. You must have some privacy, if you are living with your parents they’ll always mess around. Houses in Slovenia are very big, so if you’d leave there’d be plenty of unused space. They say it’s cheaper to live together. But is it good? I don’t think so. So I’d like to live with my boyfriend on our own, when we’ll both be ready. And let me return on the title of this post. Can we fall in love with the same person more times? It happened to me. After bad times there are always good ones. That goes to every aspect of life, love including. And one day you realize how crazy you are about your partner. I love beginnings, when you feel butterflies in your stomach and when you are anxious waiting for message or call from him/her. And those butterflies can come again and you realise how lucky you are. In my opinion nothing is perfect, but if it makes you happy in long term – maybe this is it.

February 17, 2010 Posted by | Thoughts about life | , , | Leave a comment