Speluska's Blog

Read my mind


Yesterday we had a warm and sunny day, Lisbon was shining in its full beauty and 17 degrees. I was walking towards Belem, stopping every now and than to read a book (Na preži ( On prowl) from Slovenian author Tanja Lesničar – Pučko) on one of benches by the river Tejo. This book is full of critical columns about politics, ethics, life in general…Oh I could read it in no time. But that’s not its intention. This book should be read slowly, column by column with a break between them, long enough that you can develop your opinion and either agree either disagree either partly agree with this amazing author. This book was given to me as a birthday present from my mum and only now I found (or took) time to start reading it. After strolling along the river I felt the urgent need to go to the toilet. I entered and there was a girl crying. What the f…Oh I had to go to the toilet. I heard her crying, like a scream for help. What should I do? Oh my god…I went towards her, by the sink to wash my hands and there was already another girl asking her if she can help somehow. And the crying girl said no and kept on crying. So what should I do? I stood there for a while, pretending to search something in my bag and looked at her. She seemed soooo sad…Please stop crying…What happened…Should I hug her? Oh I don’t know what to do. I’m kinda late already. Gotta run and catch tram to the city centre and met a friend. Is that selfish? I felt like being selfish. But why is she crying on public toilet like the whole world collapsed? I wouldn’t understand her problems anyway (language barriers), but it’s nice just to talk to someone, even though if he/she has nothing to say. But the other girl already asked her. So there is nothing I can do. This remind me on event about a week ago when I was with my Italian friend in park…It happened again on the toilet (it’s not that I go more often than any other human being, it’s just a coincidence that that kind of things happened to me in the place where even king likes to go alone) when a saw an elderly woman trying to find out how a light on the toilet can be switched on. She worked it out and smiled at me. The problem solved. I locked in the toilet and suddenly I heard her crying. What is happening??? Why is she crying? She was smiling just a second ago. Why is everybody so depressed? I thought that weather has some effect on our state of mind, so called psychical condition. But the sun was shining. What is with this Portuguese people and sad faces? Wait, isn’t it the same in Slovenia? Isn’t it like that every where? Not really. But on this point we have to admit that development of the world and constant aim for material success and public recognition stresses us out. I thought I ran away from sadness when I came in sunny Lisbon. But only a month after moving here I had a week when everything seemed dark and I just wanted to go home. I was sad. We could call that a second phase of cultural shock (1. honeymoon phase, 2. sadness, 3. normalization), when I started missing my home country and people back there. But the fact is that we can’t run away from sadness. It’s everywhere. Nobody is completely happy. We have to distinguish sadness from depression. Sadness is a short period of bad feeling, which doesn’t affect us on long term. Depression is a long term disease which can be medically treated and can appear again. So don’t say: I’m depressed, when you feel sad. Only expert can say that. Be careful. You don’t want to take pills, do you? Anyways, experts say that level of depression is rising. We could connect that with the fact that life is getting more and more stressful and demanding. So we are expected to do a lot and yet doing a lot of something that others like doesn’t make us happy. We are like robots, doing what has to be done. So when something isn’t going the way we want, we feel sad. Oh, the whole world is against me…Is it? Maybe you are the one that can start doing things that make you happy, little by little and than there would be a strange thing on your face called smile make other people passing by make smiling as well. Did you try already? I did. It’s working. I don’t like laughing idiots, who laugh all the time. But please don’t be sad the whole time. Life is only one and by laughing you also loose many calories… Relationships can work well if every individual is happy by his/herself. We shouldn’t expect other people to make us happy. But for sure we can be happy together. Just smile and problems (which we all have) will seem easier to solve. Think positive!


February 3, 2010 - Posted by | Thoughts about life

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